I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize