In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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