Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
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