bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Randomize
