I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
Randomize
