would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
Drunk is not a location!
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
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