Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
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