If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
Found the puke drawer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
Randomize