Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
