You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
