and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
i need some magic done to my vagina
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
