We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
just found out that she named her cat after me.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Randomize
