I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
Randomize
