You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
it was like eating out sand paper
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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