ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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