a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
