I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize