we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
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