We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
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