Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Randomize
