Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize
