Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
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