I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
