She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Randomize
