Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Randomize
