I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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