Where did you get a picture of my penis
Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Randomize
