I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize
