Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
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