Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
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