I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
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