my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
Randomize
