Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
The girls stopped by my apartment. They caught me naked with a nearly empty bottle of vodka in one hand, drawing crop circles in the carpet with the vacuum.
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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