i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
Randomize
