we made out on top of his cat.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
My breasts were aching with rage.
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize
