apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
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