Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
