All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Randomize
