I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
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Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
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We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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