TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
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