Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
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