You were right. It hurts to walk today.
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
Randomize
