is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
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