Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
