what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
I cut my penus on the lid.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
false alarm, still single
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
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