I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
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the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
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also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
I said "one day" and that day is not today