Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
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