i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
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