I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
how do you play pong handcuffed?
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.