So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
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