She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
Randomize
