Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
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