guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
if only i could text you this smell
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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