You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize