I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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