we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
Randomize
