I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
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