so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
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