susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
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