4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize
