he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
