please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
Randomize
