as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
We're using joints as your birthday candles
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
