What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
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