I heard we made out
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
Can you repeat that, but with context?
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
