Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
