Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
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