just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
can u get pink eye on your cock?
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
Randomize
